Sunday, July 4, 2010
Crossroads.
Work has been taking a toll on me and Mom kinda said
" Well if you don't spend time researching on your stocks because you're so busy with the blogshop, you can't expect to make money right?"
Was taken aback by what she said cos it's half true.
If you haven't also realised, my temperament at work has been so bad,
I cannot always have the mentality of " If I make Money, it's all me" and on days I lose, " it's the market's fault"... it's just very bad psychology and sportsmanship.
I go to work everyday with the mentality of doing my best, trying to "beat" the market , but recently the company was posed with a certain limitation and we had to drop some of our stocks.
Just when everything got better, it felt like I have to throw half of what I trade best out of the window and scavenge for new stocks.I feel like a beggar, desperate and exasperated.
It's like after university, everyone covets to be in a big financial institution and this wonderful dutch family adopted me to be part of their proprietary trading firm and I am feeling so eff-ing guilty for having thoughts of quitting.Work is bonus-based so the money is right there in my face, swinging like a carrot-stick to motivate, but it takes a certain calibre and courage to make buy/sell decisions everyday and not to mention, the crazy stress-levels. New batch of people are in, they are very experienced and it's doubling the stress cos something tells me I have to "prove" how I managed to be the only girl-trader around.
My Boss is a genius and an amazing leader. His passion for trading, his school of thoughts on everything is so inspiring, if I go to him and say " I can't do this anymore" he will spend days talking to me, psycho-ing me to get my head up and say "Sarah, there was a reason why we hired you"
It's like saying gdbye to the person who saw the "spark" in you when everyone thought you were hopeless.
But if quitting summons a happier- Sarah, more time for creativity and improving on my own business, is it worth a go?
I've wasted my time with an engineering degree ( 4 yrs!?) , went into a trading job(2 yrs!?).. took the path people said was good for me, but what did I end up with? A thriving online business ?
haha one of which only took $300 to start off and a awesome partner like Mery to help out and it was no turning back from there.
Money much or passion much? How about Passion that makes me happy and earn enough to get by?
We are only young once.
Turning 25 in a bit and there is so much to do and see.
This has been bothering me so much and I don't have an exit strategy!Wonder how many sleeps is this gonna take me to arrive to a decision?
5 comments:
follow your passion.
life's too short to waste time on proving or "torturing" yourself.
choose a path such that when you look back, you will have no regrets.
:)
go be an engineer. stable job high pay.
wonderful.
truth to be told, i always feel that there is still alot more potential you can set out to discover in this blogshop biz you have set up...the clothes are lovely, but you can afford to be more ambitious and push your limits more, esp since you have established a rapport with a big pool of loyal customers like me:)
U r somewhat like me.. I chose the path that people discourage me from and though the pay is lesser(well.. this can be improved on if u work hard enough), im truly leading a happier life! I do see a difference in myself, between the past me and the current me. =)
If things really don't work out the way u want them to be in the end, *touchwood* u can still proudly tell yourself that at least you have taken that bold step and that's no regrets cuz life is just too short to miss any opportunity.
Be what u want to be. Give yourself a timeframe. If say u reach 30 and feel that u have made a wrong choice now, its still not too late to make a U-turn by then right?
Whichever route u choose, wish u the best! =)
u shouldn't quit your stable job. passion can't give you a better life and right now you're having the best of both worlds. If you quit you'll be stressed about not earning enough in time to come. passion is not everything, but money can give you almost anything and everything. think about it, will you be happy to just get by?
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